Quackers

Yesterday, I ran into my arch nemesis.

Mr. Quackers.

He may look like an innocent duck wearing an innocent suit and holding an innocent Tommy Gun, but I assure you he is pure evil. He was robbing a bank in Old Town, which is about a hundred miles south of New Town. The fiend had his gun in the poor clerk's face as he quacked his quacks and took $10,000 from the vault.

Fortunately, Mr. Quackers, being a duck, did not possess the strength to carry $10,000 over his shoulder. He asked the clerk to put it all in his account. I knew that I couldn't let that happen. How were we ever supposed to catch him if he put all his money in an account with the very bank he was robbing? I walked in from the shadows with my hands in my pockets. They were stuck in there with lots of glue. I tried to pull my hands out, but the glue just wouldn't budge. I stood there and looked mysterious instead.

Of course, Quackers saw me as an instant threat and shot 20 bullets through my chest. I died, of course, only to have my body disappear and then reappear behind him. Once I was alive again, it made the fight much easier. (Never try to fight someone when you're dead). Of course, my hands were still glued to the inside of my pockets, so I kicked him around. This earned me a few bullets through the head. (Ouch).

A few lives later, he had finally run out of bullets and started running away, leaving his cash behind him. I tried to chase him down to tell him he had dropped his money, but he was long gone. I was about to bring the $10,000 to the lost and found when I was informed that it belonged to the bank. The villain had been trying to steal it! Well, this news did not sit well with me. One day, I promise to bring Mr. Quackers to justice, or my name's not ______________ .

Winter of Mystery

There's not much crime in the winter. This is because criminals usually don't have the common sense to wear a coat. They seem to run around in leather jackets, even when it snows.

For this reason, I, the Generic Trenchcoat Man, have not had much business to attend to. To compensate, I have decided to do mysterious good deeds around the city. To those of you who faithfully follow my epic journey, I charge you to also do at least one mysterious good deed per day. This way, we are sure to mysteriously make the world a better place.

New Sidekick!

Hello there, faithful fans!

I would like to inform you all that I now have a side kick:

Puffy Coat Boy!

His puffy coat allows him to survive in the tundra. It also hides his identity with its massive hood. Of course, he also exists in the realm of mysteria, as do I.

He looks like this:

Until next time

-GTM

Zombie Scare

Generic Trenchcoat Man has decided to postpone his official change in status due to a lack of support.

Today, I helped out a side character who was lost. I mysteriously gave him a map and told him "Your destiny lies before you." His destiny lies before him.

Zombies attacked the middle of Mysteria today. I obviously had to help fend them off. They were not too difficult, but I saw a little child with a cell phone. I feared that he was going to take a picture of my generic face, so I stared at him angrily. He took the hint and ran away.

Close call. I can't have the enemy knowing my identity.

-GTM

GTM wants to be a Superhero

Hello faithful followers.

I found a website that actually chronologues active superheroes. Unfortunately, I was not yet on this website. I must find some way to mysteriously add my name to the list of real-life superheroes. But I need your help.

Here is my audition slate:

Name: Generic Trenchcoat Man

Costume: Grey Trenchcoat, sunglasses. Black dress shirt/pants/shoes.

Secret Identity: Unknown, although it is rumored he is a piano teacher.

Powers: Is in every movie ever made. Many people can be the GTM, but there is only one GTM. Able to appear anywhere in the world at any time. Able to shadow-clone himself to make an army of GTM's. Extreme mysteriousness. Limited martial arts (after all, if he were a master of martial arts, he would be teaching in a dojo and not running around in a trenchcoat.)

Goal: Unknown.

Base: Unknown.

So what do you think my readers? Can I become a real, chronologued superhero?

-GTM

GTM Update

Being generic is hard work.

Today, I followed the young hero through the streets. Somehow, the hero saw through my generic disguise and began to run away. I gave chase, looking very mysterious in my trenchcoat.

Unfortunatly, it is very hard to run in a trenchcoat, so I lost sight of the hero. He was probably hiding around the corner. No matter, my chase has sent him on the right track, or at least the track I want him to be on. Very soon he will be meeting the leaders of the young rebellion, and will doubtlessly join them.

But, farther away from the plot, I recovered my breath and walked to a coffee shop, where I bought a donut and some orange juice.

-GTM

Who is the Generic Trenchcoat Man?

Hello Everyone,
This is the Generic Trenchcoat Man. My past is mysterious. In fact, everything about me is mysterious.

This blog is entirely for fun, so no matter how generic or mysterious it becomes, you must not become alarmed.

I must go...and do mysterious things.

-GTM